'No new friends' and 'where your real friends at' - we've all related a bit too hard with Drake on this one time or another. Why is it so difficult to forge and maintain deep friendships as adults?
As a mental health coach, I've seen firsthand the profound impact that friendships have on our overall wellbeing. It's no secret that strong social connections are essential for our mental health, but it's a topic worth revisiting, especially on a day dedicated to celebrating these precious bonds - International Friendship Day.
The Power of Friendship
Friendships offer a unique blend of support, companionship, and joy. They provide a safe space to share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment. This emotional outlet can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Moreover, laughter shared with friends is a natural mood booster, helping to improve our overall outlook on life.
Beyond emotional support, friendships can also contribute to our physical health. Research suggests that people with strong social connections tend to have lower rates of chronic diseases and a stronger immune system.
The Challenges of Adult Friendship
While the importance of friendship is universally acknowledged, making and maintaining deep connections as adults can be surprisingly challenging. Factors such as busy schedules, geographic distance, and life transitions can make it difficult to nurture existing friendships or cultivate new friendships. The fear of rejection or vulnerability can also prevent us from putting ourselves out there.
In this digital age, we feel less real-life connected that ever. While social media is a great way to stay updated on friends' lives or encounter new, like-minded people, it doesn't replace genuine face-to-face interaction (although I won't deny the power of staying in touch purely via memes and TikToks). Working from home instead of a workplace full of colleagues is more common than ever, often removing the opportunity to develop solid friendships with colleagues. It’s easy to feel isolated even when you are surrounded by digital connections.
Nurturing Your Friendship Circle
If you're struggling to build or maintain friendships, remember, you're not alone. But there are a few things you can do to help yourself:
Be intentional: Actively seek out opportunities to connect with others. Join clubs, groups, or online communities based on your interests.
Start small: Begin by building casual connections. A friendly smile or a brief conversation can be a starting point.
Be authentic: Genuine connections are built on trust and openness. Be yourself and allow others to do the same.
Prioritise quality time: Even busy schedules can accommodate time for friends. Schedule regular check-ins, whether it's a phone call, video chat, or in-person meeting.
Practice active listening: Show genuine interest in others by actively listening to their thoughts and feelings.
Offer support: Friendship is a two-way street. Be there for your friends when they need you, and they'll likely reciprocate.
Remember, building strong friendships takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself, and celebrate the connections you do have.
If meeting new friends is your goal, here are a few ideas to help you:
Apps and Websites
Meetup: This platform allows you to find groups based on your interests, from book clubs to hiking groups.
Bumble BFF: Yes, the dating app also has a friend-finding feature!
Facebook Groups: Search for groups related to your hobbies, local area, or specific interests.
Nextdoor: Connect with your neighbours and discover local events.
InterNations: If you're an expat in the UK, this platform helps you connect with other foreigners in your city.
Cliq: Find like-minded individuals, interest-based clubs and events local to you.
In-Person Groups and Activities
Volunteer: Giving back to your community is a great way to meet people who share your values.
Join a Sports Team: Whether you're a seasoned athlete or a beginner, joining a sports team is a fantastic way to make friends.
Local Classes: Sign up for a cooking, dance, or language class to meet people with similar interests.
Community Centres: Many communities have centres offering various activities and events.
Pubs and Cafés: Simply going out and striking up conversations with people can lead to new friendships. Many people swear by talking to strangers in coffee shops!
Sometimes we just might not feel mentally in the right place to meet up with friends or make new friends. If you're struggling with making meaningful connections and want to grow this area of your life, mental health coaching may be able to help you gain confidence, manage anxiety, manage work-life balance, improve communication and overcome fears.
Drop me an email at jenny@welltherapy.co to arrange a free consultation ❤️
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