How TF Do I Sit With My Feelings?

Sh*t therapists say: "Sit with it."

But how do you actually sit with your feelings? Because most of the time it feels easier to doom-scroll, binge Netflix, or reorganise your bookshelf for the tenth time than to just… feel.

Avoiding feelings might feel like a reprieve, like you've outsmarted or outrun them. You’re busy, stressed, already juggling a million things, and negative feelings? They’re messy. They’re inconvenient. They’re loud. Good feelings are enjoyable, but sadness, anger, fear, guilt, and loneliness are not. But ignoring them is a trap. They don’t go away, they just hide in your body until your chest is tight, your jaw is sore, or your brain won’t shut up at 2am.

So, how can you deal with it?

1. Admit it’s hard

Yes, some feelings are painful. Some are awkward. Some make you want to run far, far, faaar away. That’s normal. Admit it out loud: “Okay, this sucks, but here we go.”

2. Notice and name it

Say it to yourself: “I feel anxious.” “I feel sad.” “I feel frustrated.” No judgment, no solving, no “I shouldn’t feel this.” Just naming it is a big step.

3. Put it somewhere safe

Write it down. Journal. Doodle. Say it out loud. Sing it. Scream it in into a pillow. Vent to someone you trust. Or a therapist who can guide you through it. You’re giving your feelings a safe container instead of letting them run wild internally.

4. Feel it in your body

That tight chest? Lump in your throat? Shaky hands? That’s where your feelings live. Slow down. Breathe. Stretch. Walk. Shake it out. Let your body tell you what it’s holding.

5. Get curious, not critical

Instead of beating yourself up for feeling ask:

• “Why is this showing up right now?”

• “What is it trying to tell me?”

• “Have I felt this before? What did I learn?”

  
  

6. Be kind to yourself

Talk to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend: “This is hard. That’s okay. You'll come out the other side. ”

7. Remember it’s temporary

Feelings are waves. Some are small, some feel like tsunamis, but they always ebb and flow. You’re the ocean. Let them move through.

Ways you can 'sit with it' today

• Put your phone down for 5 minutes and just notice what’s happening inside

• Sip a warm cup of tea and let the heaviness land

• Go for a slow walk and feel the sensations in your body

• Play a song or playlist that matches your mood

• Visualise the feelings in your body as shapes, textures, colours & sizes

• Scribble, paint or journal freely

• Say out loud: “This feels hard" without ignoring or resolving

  
  

TL;DR

Sitting with your feelings is messy, awkward, and sometimes exhausting. But it works. You start learning from your emotions instead of running from them. You make choices aligned with your authentic self. And eventually, it feels… lighter.

Your feelings aren’t the enemy. They’re messy little guides. And yes, you can learn to actually listen.